“but what if it does work out?”

Last week, I shared that I took a major leap and have been daring to explore Costa Rica. My goal? To build a life at the pace of wellness, moving between the US and elsewhere. My progress? Here I am at the entrance of my first Costa Rican farm.

This is the start. I can’t wait to explore my medicinal plant farm in full bloom with you during our DBW x Costa Rica Retreat — Dec 28, 2025 to Jan 2, 2026. (Tickets on sale in June.)

now all that may sound nice, but I must confess:

I’m always terrified at the start.

Ter. Ri. Fied. You hear me?

“Will the plants thrive?” “Did I plant the seeds right?” “Did I prepare the soil well?” “Will the Sun shine and the rain fall?” “WHAT THE F%$@ AM I DOING?!”

Third farm in — remember my Detroit farm? — and these questions still plague me.

Can you relate to second guessing yourself and your dreams?

If so, this edition of the Dear Black Women newsletter is for you. To those seeds of a dream buried deep within our hearts.

Yes, it’s possible they won’t grow. But what if they do?

How might we practice talking and acting ourselves into that?

Take encouragement from the wisdom and words of Dear Black Women Virginia below. Followed by a space to reflect.

But, first: DBW AFFIRMATION CIRCLES ARE BACK. See a reminder of what DBW Circles are below. And get your tickets to join us on June 28th!

Daring to stand in the possibilities with you,

GET YOUR TICKETS:

dbw affirmation circles are back!

June 28, 2025.

12pm - 2pm ET.

This time virtual, so everyone can join!

See you there?

Scroll for a reminder of the magic of DBW Circles through pictures and reviews.

We back baby!

“A DBW Circle is something every Black women needs in her life. It was a safe place full of healing. A place full of acceptance and love, laughter and life.”

A Dear Black Woman

“It was so healing and comforting! All the ladies were sincere and the space was awesome. I truly felt I could be myself, lay out my pains and not feel judged.”

A Dear Black Woman

“The overall experience was amazing. The concept, content, and participants are all so necessary and impactful and exceed expectations. Just wonderful!”

A Dear Black Woman

“I was excited to be a part of a space where I could be vulnerable, honest, and affirmed — which is often not the case for a queer, Black woman.”

A Dear Black Woman

an affirmation:

talk yourself into things.

“You can so easily talk yourself out of things, so spend more time talking yourself into them.”

DBW Virginia

You are done waiting. Today is the day that you continue to accomplish the work to becoming you, becoming what you never thought you could, becoming who people said you couldn't, and becoming what you've desired all along.

There is nothing left to do, but complete the first steps for the next moves. And you can do it all! You can so easily talk yourself out of things, so spend more time talking yourself into them.

Don't worry if you miss a day or lose your momentum; as long as you are alive then everyday is another chance. There is no particular day for you to begin so it hasn't passed nor is it yet to come; it is here now. Look behind you at the road you've traveled. Think about who you have served, who you have encouraged, and how you have made change even if in just one place or with one person. If you've done it before then you can do more.

Everything wasn't always easy, but the challenges built you into better. Remind yourself of how awesome you are and don't let creeping doubts distract. You are smart enough, strong enough, and ready enough.

an exercise:

reflect & free write

1.

What is one thing my heart really wants me to talk myself into?

Dare to name it. We are worthy.

2.

What’s one way I can talk myself out of believing that dream? How might I flip it and reverse it to talk myself into believing?

Take in the contours of what convinces you to be small. Knowing your enemy is one of the first steps to defeating them!

3.

If I dared to believe me and my dreams were worthy, what’s one small action I would take today?

Take that action. However small, take. that. action. Small actions add up.

what to expect

1. dbw affirmation circle are BACK!: first circle june 28, 2025. get. your. ticket.

2. over the next 4 weeks: weekly affirmation emails.

3. dbw retreat in costa rica: dec 28 - jan 2, 2025! tickets on sale in june.