"I know doing things differently is scary as shit, aint it? But..."
Written by Dear Black Woman Imani Cee
Dear Beautiful,
Yes, you’re still beautiful even after all that weight gain. Yes, those extra curves are noticeable, but they add more sexiness to your smile. Stop talking about how good your body looked in high school-embrace your new body you have as a grown ass woman!
“I know doing things differently is scary as shit, aint it? But you can’t change anything being the same way you are now. You can do it. Girl look at ALL THAT SHIT YOU WENT THROUGH and as many TIMES you went through it. You are leading an example for your baby cousins and your future children, that Love starts from within.”
Truth is, all those diets, waist trainers and gym memberships can’t fix a broken spirit! I know that all the men in your life, including your father, left you feeling like you weren’t good enough. That you always had to be extra nice, extra kind, extra patient and extra understanding and extra submissive. But where did that get you? The men are gone. You’re feeling empty, full of resentment and STILL not feeling good enough.
First things first, those men needed to leave, it wasn’t enough room for their unsatisfied ego and your growth. That’s why you feel like you have lost so much of yourself. But you needed to lose everything, so you have no choice but to focus on rebuilding yourself. I’m not talking about from the outside to inside. I’m talking about from the inside to the outside.
Like Adam Roa said, “Learn to treat yourself like somebody you have loved.” And Babygirl, you have loved HARD! Loving yourself could be as simple as saying, “No” or “I would like to help but I had a long day”. Instead of getting mad when your friends cancel on you, learn to take that opportunity to enjoy taking yourself out. Think about it: You don’t have to wait on anybody to leave or go. You can take the opportunity to interact with new people. Smile so you can show your teeth. All those years in braces you deserve to smile. It’s time to start accepting yourself and stop trying to change yourself. Here’s a little secret: the love you have been yearning for is inside of you and can only be given to you. Isn’t that something? For You and By You.
But this journey just isn’t about you. This is for the strength of every woman in your bloodline who didn’t have the opportunity to explore this journey. Girl, just imagine when you start to look at yourself as a whole person? Your energy will be restored, emphasized and redirected to you. Now you will be able to be more present in conversations, establish goals and you will be able to bring your visions to life. Considering yourself first. Not just today but every day. I know doing things differently is scary as shit, aint it? But you can’t change anything being the same way you are now. You can do it. Girl look at ALL THAT SHIT YOU WENT THROUGH and as many TIMES you went through it. You are leading an example for your baby cousins and your future children, that Love starts from within.
Marquisha Babers said it best,
“This is for every girl who has taken,
Two steps forward,
Three steps back,
Then gathered herself and jumped six steps ahead”