"Cry those tears, mama. You deserve the space & room you need to grieve this."
Written by Dear Black Woman Stevie Taylor
Dear Beloved,
This is how it should be. Here we are, just you and I. Here to do the work of mending this tear in your heart. It’s more than a tear though.
It started as a crack long ago. Left untended, it has splintered in time. Like an unhealed wound, it has festered, and now, we are here to do the work to disinfect it. To rest. To evaluate. To change. To move forward. To unravel. To let go. To grow.
Cry those tears, mama. You deserve the space and room you need to grieve this.
You wonder how we got here, but we know. By wanting a friendship and the validation of another person so much so that you ignored your inner voice, that inner knowing that said time and time again it wasn’t right.
By hoping against all signs of reality. By putting your hope in the shaky ground of another person’s soul.
“Cry those tears, mama. You deserve the space and room you need to grieve this.”
The best way to love others is with open hands. The only way to love others well is by first loving yourself with grace, dignity, acceptance and forgiveness.
Forgive and forget. It’s time to forgive and forget this friendship. Dare in fact I say, it’s healthy to do so. We can’t stay stuck here, you and I. We must pack our bags with an audacious courage. No more looking back on what was or holding things with closed fists. After all, isn’t surrender the sweet currency from which life flows?
Your heart will heal in time. Repeat- Your heart will heal. You will be OK. This friendship, the death of it, did not kill you.
You lost what you thought was a friend, but in the process, you gained yourself. Your sweet, optimistic, brave, confident, beautiful self. That is a victory. You stumbled but you found your feet, and here you are, as bright as can be. This is not the end sweet girl.
Never be angry for the process because it is your process. This could be the greatest teacher on confidence, on friendship, on identity, on letting go, on life and love that you will ever learn, if you allow it to be.
Keep hoping sweet girl. Your story is not finished yet.