8 TIPS for writing your affirmation letter

In this video, Dear Black Women founder Florence Noel talks with a fellow DBW, Shanice Battle, to offer tips for writing YOUR own affirmation letter! 

1. Why are affirmation letters important for black women?

Black women loving themselves is profoundly a revolutionary act. The act of writing down words that affirm us can play a role in that in so many ways, including affirming that: 

  1. We matter

  2. We are worthy of our own time

  3. Our words, our stories, our thoughts are worthy of being cherished and written in our own voice

2. How does DBW define an affirmation?

Anything that says ‘YES’ to you. YES to who you are in that moment. YES to what you need to talk about. YES to what you might be working through. YES to what you might be dreaming. YES to what you might be hoping for. YES to what you might be overcoming. YES to what you might achieving. YES to you!

3. Are there any questions that I could ask myself to help me write my affirmation letter?

Yes! Here are some questions you could consider:

  1. Given what you’re experiencing in your life right now, what are some encouraging words that would give you motivation and/or strength?

  2. If someone you really love were experiencing what you were experiencing, what would you say them to make them feel loved and encouraged? (Sometimes it’s easier for us to give encouragement and love to others.)

  3. What would you say to your younger self about the lessons that you’ve learned?

  4. What would you say to your older self about the things you want to accomplish?

  5. What do you want to congratulate yourself on accomplishing?

  6. Tune into your negative self-talk-- the stories or things you’re telling yourself that feel harmful. What are the empowering, loving, healing and affirming words that counter the negative self-talk?

4. Should I be thinking about what others may need to hear while i'm writing?

No. Try not think about anyone else’s needs while writing your letter. In fact, focus only on what you need to hear, because the intention is to fill your cup. 

5. Are there examples of letters that I can see?

Yes! Dive into examples of full letters below. (We'll keep updating this list!)

6. What kind of language or topic should the affirmation letter have?

There is no one way to write an affirmation letter. There is no type of language that is the only language to use. And there is no topic that is off topic. If what you write is what you need to say to say YES to yourself, then you write it. 

7. What if I’m not a good writer or I don’t like to write?

For those who don’t think they are “good writers”, please know that it doesn’t matter if the grammar or spelling is "off". Your words are worthy of your attention. So, write for yourself. For those who just do not want to write, it’s okay! We welcome you to enjoy the writing of other Black women on our website and our social media InstagramFacebookTwitter.

8. What if I’m really struggling with affirming myself? Like, I try, but I really can’t.

Be gentle with yourself. Doing this work can be difficult and unfamiliar. You are amongst amazing people who are in the same place as you are! 

Start small. Sit down and write a few words. Maybe, “Dear [insert your name], I love you, girl.” And come back and add just a little bit more and come back after that to add just a little more, until you have more on the page.

You may never feel completely comfortable, but any progress in affirming yourself is good progress.

And you are worth the effort!