"That is the magic of boundaries. You get to set them."

Written by Dear Black Woman Elena Simpkins, PhD

Hey girl hey,

Empathy is a beautiful process. It allows you to feel and relate to others on an intimate level...but there is a caveat. It is often exhausting and can wear on your entire being. Currently, people are sucking you dry and absorbing all of your light. It seems that you are reaching your tipping point. That vital point in which you are so full from the emotions of others that there is no room for your emotions and there is no way out. You have spent so much time filling others that you have forgotten how to fill yourself.

Who are you now?
What do you want?
How did you lose so much of yourself in others?
How do you get yourself back?

When does the constant filling of others stop? Honestly, how much more can you actually handle? I am worried that there is nothing left for you to give; not just to others but more importantly to yourself. With nothing left to give to yourself it makes the act of loving yourself increasingly difficult. It makes it nearly impossible to appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. Take a stand for yourself and learn to set boundaries, that magical idea that seems so far out of reach. Boundaries are what you need in order to live more freely.

Everyone does not know how to treat or relate to you and it is your job to teach them or not, if that’s what you so desire. That is the magic of boundaries. You get to set them. They are about what you want and what you need. They come on your time and mean what you want them to.

Remember, there is an abundance of beauty in being there for others, but there is just as much beauty in being there for yourself.

Love always,

Elena

“Everyone does not know how to treat or relate to you and it is your job to teach them or not, if that’s what you so desire. That is the magic of boundaries. You get to set them.”

— Elena Simpkins, PhD

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