"Being lost is a space where you can continue to grow & rediscover who you are."

Written by Dear Black Woman Elena Simpkins, PhD

“Being lost does not mean that you have failed. Being lost is a space where you can continue to grow and rediscover who you are. You have the chance to create and build a future that heals and embraces you.”

— Elena Simpkins, PhD

Dear Black woman,

Being lost does not mean you have failed.

Your current phase in life has been uncomfortable, sticky, foggy, and at times messy. Relationships you thought defined you are no more, the person you used to be is evolving, you are transitioning, boundaries are being built and respected, and you have a doctorate. With all of the changes happening, you are feeling lost, unsure of what steps to take next and which direction to go in. Feeling lost is not a common space for you. Throughout your life, the next step has fallen into place before you had to take it. So, not knowing exactly which way to go has upended you. It has shaken you, but remember:

Being lost does not mean that you have failed.

Being lost is a space where you can continue to grow and rediscover who you are. You have the chance to create and build a future that heals and embraces you. Regardless of what you believe, there actually isn’t a rule that says you have to know what your next step is in order to keep moving forward. Even though school and society have made you feel that way, it is simply not true. You have been given the time and space to determine who you are for you and not for others. There is joy in that. There is love in that.

Being lost does not mean you have failed. You have spent your whole life believing that you need to know every step that you need to take next. Where did you learn this ‘rule’? Who told you this? Whoever it was they were (and probably still are) a liar. Figuring out your path in life does not equate to failing. Figuring out a path is a journey. You enjoy road trips, the fun, joy, and exuberance that you experience on road trips are the same feelings you should apply to this current journey.

Love always.

Read More Affirmations From Dear Black Woman Elena Simpkins, PhD